"What foundation are you on?"

"You hear me, but don't listen" That was my mom's favorite catch phrase with me while I was growing up. This saying reminds me a lot of one of the disciples, Judas Iscariot. He heard Yeshua but didn't really listen. He had hardened his heart. He was set on Yeshua becoming king. All of the disciples thought He was to reign as king. Even Paul thought Yeshua was coming back again soon. So soon, He was telling us it would be better if we didn't marry. On the night of Yeshua's capture, All 12 were together eating the Pesach meal. I can only wonder what Judas was thinking at that moment and why He would betray his Lord and what he said that night.
What Judas might have said that night thinking to himself "Why all this tradition? He says, he is the messiah, then why doesn't he rule as king and smite our enemies! Yet he does nothing while we are persecuted. The Pharisees want him, they can have him. Should it be tonight? yes, tonight should be good. He says he will be going away and then coming back. Let’s see if it is true. They won’t be able to kill him anyway with all his magic and I can make a quick a denarii out of it. I‘ve been wanting that piece of land for a while and now I’ll be able to have it. This is my money for me and I’m taking back what is mine & more. I deserve it, this is mine and not theirs to give it away.” Yeshua begins to speak and says “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” Being deeply grieved, they each one began to say to Yeshua, “Surely not I, LORD?” and He answered, “He who dipped his hand with Me in the bowl is the one who will betray Me. The Son of Man is to go, just as it is written of Him; but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been good for that man if he had not been born.” Judas said, “Surely it is not I, RABBI?” Yeshua said “You have said it yourself.” Judas thinking to himself “How did he know? Did they follow me or did the Pharisees send another? It doesn’t matter he can’t do anything to me, I’m protected by God.”
Did Judas think Yeshua was just a good rabbi? It seems he never had that relationship that Peter had. He heard He was the messiah but probably never believed it deep down in his nefesh. He never had that strong foundation (relationship) with Him. People say they are close to Abba, how close are you? If you died, would your nefesh cry out to Abba or think Yeshua was just a good rabbi? What foundation are you on?